Monday, July 28, 2008

21 down

I'm really starting to get the hang of this hobo thing. I'm up to 21 peaks now, as we just finished a backpacking trip to climb Mt. Wilson and Wilson Peak. (Don't confuse them with each other, they are indeed separate mountains.) These were fun, as they involved a lot of scrambling and death-defying bad ass moves. Scott and I agree, huge cajones are required to climb these bad boys. And helmets, which may or may not have cameras attached, are also a good idea. Video to come later, with footage from the NEW IPROVED HELMET-CAM 2.0!


Before the Wilson Group, we climbed Mt. Sneffels which was a lot of fun, although at the end of the day I wanted to let the air out of the tires on all the rental jeeps on that road. You see, idiots are allowed (surely through some omission of law) to rent jeeps in these mountain towns so that they may "explore" back roads which have been pre-approved by the jeep rental company. For Example, Farabee's Jeep Rentals ("On the edge of adventure!") charges you $100-$125 a day to sit on your ass and burn $4/gallon gasoline which is not included in the rental price. Here is a short script describing what must surely happen in these vehicles:

Dad: Kids! We made it! We're all the way to the base of the mountain! What an accomplishment!

Kid 1: Yay! We sure are exploring in the middle of nowhere!

(A caravan of rental jeeps and landscape photographers drives by)

Dad: Yes kids, this is living! Smell that fresh mountain air!

Kid 2: Dad, the mountain air smells like exhaust fumes!

Dad: Yes kids, you need gasoline to explore! God Bless America! Let's have a twinkie and a Coke! We sure earned it after that hard climb.

(Dad, highly obese, huffs and puffs as he steps out of his red rental jeep to get the twinkies and Coke out of the back)

Mom: OH MY GOD! LOOK! THAT POOR PERSON IS WALKING! (calling to a nearby hiker) ARE YOU ALL RIGHT??? YOU NEED HELP?

Hiker: No, I'm walking. For fun.

Mom: But you must be at least A MILE FROM YOUR CAR! HERE, HAVE A TWINKIE AND COKE, YOU POOR THING! (speaking to husband) Honey, can you give that poor hobo a twinkie and coke? I've been having trouble standing up under my own power lately.

(The scene changes, and we see the family of jeep renters driving down a dirt road one lane wide, with no room for 2 cars to pass)

Dad: Oh no! There's somebody coming the other way! What do we do? I'd better just sit here and not move. Hopefully the situation will improve itself.

THE END

1 comment:

Rock Doctor said...

You have truly caught the persona of the flat-landers in the mountains! The sad thing is, that back in the dark ages (the late 70's and early 80's) the same sequence of events could often be observed on those same mountain roads. The only difference was that the Jeeps were truly good back then - CJ5 and the like!

Dad